Hello fellow bookaholics, welcome to another #amreading.
Today I was hoping we could talk about my kinky book format affair.
But First… please allow me to do this…
I AM READING AGAIN PEOPLE. I’M ON A ROLL! I’M A TOTAL READING BEAST.
Aaaahh… that felt good!
Ok, so Second… let me ask you if you already read my review of Hell Divers. If you haven’t, pleeeease GO READ IT!
[BTW I JUST LEARNED THE AUDIOBOOK IS ON SALE NOW! $3.99]
OMG THIS BOOK! SOOO GOOD!!!
AND LOOK AT THE COMMENTS!
THEY ARE GONNA SEND ME A SIGNED HARD COPY!!!
MY FIRST SIGNED COPY EVER!!!
Third… let me tell you about what #amreading now…
So continuing with my very-lazy-book-reviewer policy… if I’m not catching up with pending ARCs like Hell Divers and And I Darken, I’m only reading books for which there is a super-mega-hype… #amreading…
- Wizardology… oh this book is so marvelous.🔮 Love it. Love it. Love it. ❤️ I’m having the greatest time reading this book with my little girl-spawn, Butterfly, 🦋 every night. She borrowed it from her school library and I immediately ordered from Amazon.
- Milk and Honey – Throwing my hands up in the air here.😩 I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. This one will be an interesting one to review.
- Tyrant... What is that shirtless guy doing on this family friendly blog??? 😳 [hush! It’s here because I love this series! SO GOOD!😝]
- Raven Boys… This book is my nemesis. 😫 Seriously. You know that pretty butterfly you wanted to catch in the garden when you were little? The one with the beautiful, fragile colorful wings. AND THE DAMN THING never let you catch it! Yup that’s this book for me. It’s going back to the library today. A DNF for the SECOND time! Until I’m ready for it I guess 🙄 SMH!
- And I Darken… THE END. The end of a looooong search for my book soul mate. I’m off the market now people. I married this book. 👰
So WHY ON EARTH AM I READING FIVE BOOKS AT THE SAME TIME???
So that is kinda what this post is about. I have to talk to you about this issue or I’ll go craziER than I already am.
So #Amreading again because I partly solved the mystery of my reading slump and… I NEED to know! I NEED to know if other bookworms have a defective bookworm brain like mine!
I’m sure this is like a super rare condition because I never heard of this before. But THERE HAS TO BE someone else out there.
So if you are out there, brother or sister bookworm with a defective bookworm brain, please let me know. Let’s create a therapy group. Let’s heal together.
So this is my bizarre condition….
When I discovered eBooks I was thrilled. They were surely every bookworm’s dream. Being the keyword… MORE. They were cheaper and took virtually no space so I could get and carry MORE books with me. ALL my books were with me ALWAYS so I had this all-consuming, obsessive affair with them. AND they were so deliciously submissive low-maintenance and good mannered! They never fell on my face, ON MY NOSE, when I fell asleep, awaking me rudely and painfully.
Has it happened to you? A book falling on your face??? UGH!!! I used to read in an iPad. Not anymore. Being smacked in the face by an iPad… NOT NICE!
So…back to my decade-long love affair with my submissive eBooks…
When eBooks appeared, physical books became a nuance and they were mercilessly discarded like a needy high-maintenance unwanted ex-lover.
Until the time of the BIG SLUMP. The readapocalypse. The readingeddon. The end of the reading days. [Poor D shivers here with PTSD ]
Most of the time I’m a VERY fast reader. I’m one of those who can glance at a page side to side and goes through it a few seconds. 😎
When I’m like that, at my best, every page is a symphony that flows smoothly, with the perfect rhythm, cadence and intonation. The right inflections and pauses are in the right places, and ideas can settle in my brain to make perfect sense and for me to savor them.
BUT then suddenly I got all booklexic and books turned into a senseless chaos. Then I would look at the page I was reading perplex because I KNEW that behind that apparent chaos there was supposed to be organized units that made sense: words, sentences and paragraphs. But that original order had been rearranged for me in a way that made no sense whatsoever making me go over the same sentences and paragraphs over and over again. It was like having a ADD JUST when I was reading. 😩
So I thought it was just another reading slump [Again!] and gave up reading altogether. BUT one day I saw the hard cover edition of one of the eBooks I had abandoned and I grabbed it. And I was able to read it!!! Everything was as it should be! The beautiful symphony the book was… was there! And playing for me again! So I went through my DNF shelf and tried other physical books. AND IT WORKED TOO!
So there was the aha moment. IT’S THE FORMAT.
Sooooo… Who forgave me and graciously saved me. Who took me back in their loving arms?
The physical books.
I was SO thankful! I was remorseful, submissive, regretful, contrite, repentant, penitent. All of it. I had learned my lesson!
[sigh] What was I thinking abandoning my precious books???? Why did I ever renounce to this feast of sensations? The texture and smell of the pages, the subtle whoosh when you turn them? The whoosh that is so intimate, like a lover’s whisper in your ear, because no one else can hear it? The smoothness and satin, shy, shine of the cover… The weight, the solidity, the “existeness” of the real book. The “I’m Here”. I’m here FOR YOU.
So now I have the opposite relationship. I’m the happy sub. I happily carry my heavy pile of masters around. I spend much more money on them AND if I fall asleep my master slaps me in the face. HARD. 😝 But it’s real, physical, palpable love. It’s a symphony.
And I’m Reading!
So that’s why I usually read several books at the same time because I have my hard covers now but ARCs are usually ebooks (ugh!), and there are some books I ONLY like as audiobooks which will be part two of this bookish discussion coming up soon on the blog.
So here is my question…
HAVE YOU EVER HAD ISSUES READING CERTAIN FORMATS???? 😫
WHAT ABOUT KINKY RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR BOOKS?? 😳
YOU ARE SAFE HERE. WE ARE ALL WEIRDOS HERE. YOU CAN BARE YOUR SOUL 😜
Thank you for visiting!